Extra Thank You Needed?
Nicole Frank is one of the leading experts of the home exchange community. Nicole has been an avid home exchanger since childhood and has completed dozens exchanges around the world with her family. Nicole’s "Key to Home Exchange" appears weekly on RoofSwap.com with do’s and don’t regarding house swapping and tips and advice on a wide array of travel topics. Have a question for Nicole or want to share some insight of your own? Visit our Member Forum section and post your comments and questions.
Dear Key to Home Exchange:
We are due to go on our half of a two-week home exchange this summer. The family stayed at our place last summer and we are due to stay at their place next summer. The direct flights to her city only go once a week and many of the flights are now fully booked. We were only able to get a direct flight back three weeks after our arrival.
As we will be in her city for longer than the agreed two weeks, we found a rental apartment to stay in for the additional week. The apartment was available at either end of our stay, so we asked our exchange partner which dates suited her best. Our exchange partner has emailed back and offered to let us use her home for the full three weeks. This is extremely generous of her and makes life an awful lot easier for us.
We would really like to say thank you in some way. We know that offering money is a big 'no' in home exchange - but she has saved us a lot of hassle and money and we know (from previous emails) that she is finding things tough financially at the moment due to the current economic climate.
How can we say thank you? We thought about stocking up her freezer / pantry etc? What is acceptable in a situation like this?
Carol, Victoria, BC, Canada
Dear Home Exchanger,
Your thoughtful desire to reach out to your swap partners demonstrates a generosity that marks you as a good home exchanger. As you noted, the exchange family has also shown kind hospitality to you. Leaving a "thank you" gift after you use the exchange home is a custom that can be used in this case to express your appreciation of the swap family's kindness in letting you stay in their home for an extra week.
We should always keep in mind, however, that such gifts are optional, and that many exchangers offer their swap partners extra days during the exchange. This is a way to extend the hospitality that should be the guiding principle of every home exchange. As home exchangers we should view such offers as committing us only to "pay it forward" by offering more days to our own swap partners whenever possible.
It is also fine to leave a special gift for a home exchange family that has shown you a kindness. If you are aware that they are in a precarious financial situation you can do show your appreciation in ways that do not embarrass them. To spare the family's feelings your idea about stocking the pantry is a good one. It is very normal and appropriate to replace items one has used during a swap. The beauty of home exchange is that you can see exactly what sort of groceries to buy. I do not recommend stocking her freezer because some people are sensitive about freezer space.
The way to be subtle about what you have done is to leave a note saying something like, "we used a few items and wanted to be sure to replace them." If you wish, you can add "In case we missed anything, here is a gift card to [the local shop they appear to frequent]." A normal home exchange gift has a value of around $20 to $50. When someone goes out of their way for you, as this swapper seems to have done, it is considerate to leave a higher-value thank-you present.
The best gift we can ever leave our swap partners is to care for their home as if your boss had lent you her home for the week, and to deal with all of our swap partners fairly and considerately. Keep that considerate home exchange vibe circulating throughout our community and "pay it forward" whenever you can.
Happy Home Exchanging!
Nicole Frank, Your Key to Home Exchange
